Grant Us Mercy: Installment Eight: Post-Apocalyptic Survival Fiction Read online

  “You don’t think…”

  “No, we talk,” she said with a shrug.

  “How is Arland doing with the situation?”

  “Oh, he’s struggling.” Laurie chuckled lightly.

  “I imagine it would be weird thinking about your daughter being married, and well, now he could be having a child and a grandchild close to the same age.”

  “I hadn’t thought about that.” Laurie’s eyes widened. “That would be strange. I know it’s a bit late in life for us, but we wanted to have something that united us.”

  “I think you had enough to unite you, but a child made of your love is a blessing indeed. No matter how it works out, it will be perfect.”

  “I hope so,” Laurie said, giving her a slight smile. “I’m no spring chicken, but...”

  “Hey, you’re younger than I was when I had Mercy.”

  “And it wasn’t easy on you.”

  “It wasn’t. Thank goodness for you, my friend.” Kris squeezed Laurie’s knee. She often thought about how much of a blessing Laurie’s arrival had been the night of Mercy’s birth.

  “It all worked out perfectly.”

  “So it will, with you.” Kris hoped she reassured her friend. It wasn’t that Laurie was that old, nor her with Mercy, but without hospitals and the technology and medication, complications had more life-altering consequences.

  Kris patted the small bottle of oil in her pocket as she left Laurie’s. A sense of joy filled her as she exited into the heat of the late morning. The blue sky lined with the green of trees eased her soul even more. Another baby.

  Her hands rested on her own stomach. She longed to feel life there again, but she knew it wouldn’t be good for her or her family. Her gaze sought out her children. They ran in the open field between the main camp and their dwelling.

  Tucker’s hair swooped behind him as he chased Ethan and Mercy before shifting at the last minute to go after Ryan. Mercy squealed with glee, her short red hair gleaming in the sun.

  Kris could watch her children play all day. Her hands dropped to her side. She had a full and blessed life. There was no need to crave what she did not need. She had everything a woman could possibly want.

  As she felt the overwhelming presence of her husband come up behind her, and he slipped his arms around her as he kissed her neck, the feeling only solidified. Yes, she had everything she could ever desire.

  ~2~

  Blake tossed the blanket off him even as he pulled Kris closer. The heat they had created made it too hot to be covered. He kissed her head, wrapping his arms around her even tighter and groaned in satisfaction. The love they shared went past the decades they had together.

  Kris nuzzled into his neck and whispered, “Laurie is pregnant.”

  Blake sucked in his breath. He couldn’t help his immediate reaction of fear coursing through his veins. Every time he thought of pregnancy, he flashed back to Kris’s struggling and Mercy blue and unbreathing.

  “You’re not happy for them?” his wife asked, kissing his neck and relaxing in his arms.

  “Sure,” he said, pushing his breath out and forcing his breathing to normalize.

  “It’s a good thing, Blake. Growing our community is important.”

  “Of course.” The thought of needing to grow the community, of life not returning to normal, stirred up that uneasiness he held since he raced home to his family almost two years ago. He knew life would never be the same. Why did he still cling to it?

  He also knew Kris longed for another child. The idea sent him into a panic. He couldn’t go through that again. His blood ran cold as he licked his lips, resisting the sudden urge to flee the dwelling.

  Kris’s hand rubbed across his bare chest and she squeezed him closer. “Relax. I’m not talking about us having more.”

  Blake froze. “Really?”

  “Really. Our family is perfect just the way it is.”

  Did she really mean that? Blake wished for more than firelight to see her eyes, but maybe it was best if he didn’t. “What if...what if it still happens?”

  “If God’s will overpowers ours, then we have to trust. We are careful. I wouldn’t worry.”

  Yet, he did worry.

  With no birth control, how would they stop pregnancies? He knew Laurie had her herbs, and Kris talked about knowing her cycle, but those things didn’t make sense to him. Trust. He shuddered. How could he trust when everything held on such a delicate balance? The questions rolled around in his mind while he fitfully tried to sleep.

  Early that morning, as expected, Arland waited for him at the communal fire. The two friends had their ups and downs over the last couple of years, but, especially since Butler left, Arland had become Blake’s closest friend. They didn’t have to agree on everything. Once Blake had accepted that, the wall between them dissolved.

  Blake sat next to him and took the offered steaming cup of mountain misery tea. “I hear congratulations are in order?”

  “Women can’t keep these things secret, can they?” Arland chuckled.

  “Women and babies are some of the mysteries of the world.”

  “I agree. You think it ridiculous?” Arland asked.

  “Ridiculous? No.”

  “But…”

  Blake fiddled with the cup in his hands. “I’m sure everything will be fine.”

  Arland squeezed his shoulder. “I worry, too. She knows her stuff, though, and I have to trust.”

  Blake nodded. He had a difficult time trusting. God didn’t always agree with him.

  This wasn’t the time to share his fears. So he stuffed them down before continuing the conversation.

  “It must be strange, having a child on the way with your other one preparing to be married.” Blake elbowed him in jest.

  “You’re telling me. I’ve had friends that had two separate families like this. I always thought them crazy.”

  “Crazy it may be, brother, but it’s happening. Might as well make the best of it.”

  “Absolutely,” Arland said, rising to pour more steaming liquid in his cup. “You know, it’s not too bad.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Being here,” Arland said as he sat back down. “I think about Butler sometimes and how things are in the cities with the coalitions. Of course, we only know what Butler and Lexi have shared, and of course Ryan, but those stories make this,” he waved his hand over the camp, “seem like heaven.”

  “In a way, it is,” Blake said, his voice low. They had to fight their way through survival. They had to earn every meal, every convenience, and every life. He shouldn’t complain, compared to the constant danger that Ryan had shared, their life seemed easy and safe.

  As it did many times, Blake's thoughts went to the Governor. Simmons had said they prepared for twenty years of isolation. Why that long? Why hadn’t they kept their forces intact and readied for the struggle of society that they should have known would come?

  “Seventeen more years,” he muttered, not meaning to say it aloud.

  “What’s that?” Arland asked. When Blake didn’t respond, he asked again, “What happens in seventeen more years?”

  “Nothing, I…” Blake shook his head and stood up to stretch.

  “You’re really going to leave me hanging like that?”

  Blake looked down at Arland, marveling as he sometimes did at the changes that had come over the geeky scientist who he had divulged a flood of knowledge to on that fateful night almost three years ago. Life had changed. He had changed. What had these years done to those in the government that were still hidden in their underground bunkers?

  “Fine,” Arland said in a huff. “I can’t prepare the community if I don’t know.”

  “You’re talking about something that may or may not happen in two decades, Arland. You really going to be upset about that?”

  “Some things take that long to prepare for.”

  Blake stared down at his friend. “Some things you can’t prepare for.”

  Arland rose to meet his eyes, the sun now peeking over the ridge and the camp stirring. “You may be The Survivalist, but you still haven’t learned that strength increases in numbers. You don’t have to shoulder this alone.”

  As Arland strode away, Blake watched him and wondered. Was his lack of trust in others a disservice rather than an asset? Then he saw his son’s haunted eyes. Had he inadvertently taught his son to shoulder problems without sharing them?

  ~*~

  Kris observed Tucker from the corner of her eye. He stretched in bed, sitting there looking dazed and groggy. Her gut twisted. She never was a fan of medicating him as a child. Now natural or not, she still medicated him, and he looked it.

  “You okay, Sweetie?” she asked as she brought him a hot cup of wild rosehip tea. They didn’t get as much fruit as she wished, so the tea, loaded with vitamin C and other nutrients, helped keep them healthy. Besides, it tasted good enough that kids loved it.

  “Yeah, just sleepy.”

  “Did you sleep okay?” She tried to act normal, but he watched her.

  “I did, I think. Is that because of the tea you gave me last night?” Tucker held her eyes, and she knew he tried to read them.

  “Yes. It’s supposed to help you sleep.”

  He nodded and sipped his tea. “Wish it tasted as good as this.”

  Kris swept back his hair and kissed his forehead. “I love you, Tuck.”

  “Love you, too.”

  “Me too,” Mercy said, toddling over to them.

  Tucker set his tea aside and held out his arms. “Yes, I love you, too, Little Sister.”

  Something inside Kris softened. Every once in a while when she saw Tucker with Mercy, she longed for her own brother. She and her brother hadn’t been as close as her children, but she loved her brother and wondered how he was doing, how her parents were doing, and her nephews.

  She sighed as she rose to get back to finish breakfast. Thinking about her family always left her melancholy. It hurt to think she would never see any of them again. Picturing her parents with her brother and family helped, but it didn’t cure her grief.

  “Mama sad.” Mercy came over and patted her leg.

  “Sometimes Mommy misses her Mommy,” Kris said, bringing Mercy into her lap.

  “You mean Grandma?” Tucker asked as he joined them.

  “Yeah, and Grandpa, and Uncle, all of them,” she said, forcing a smile.

  “They’re okay. They have each other, like we have each other.” Tucker squeezed her arm like Blake did when he tried to comfort her. He yawned and reached out to check on the acorn mush in the pot next to the fire. “I miss syrup and real oatmeal.”

  “Hey, at least we have butter.” Kris knocked into him, trying to push back her own sadness.

  “That is a good addition, thanks to Dad,” Tucker said as the door opened, letting in a ray of light.

  “What did I do?” Blake asked as he ducked inside.

  “Dada!” Mercy ran up to Blake, and he scooped her up into his arms.

  “Brought us butter, well, the cows that we make it from.” Tucker plopped a spoonful of mush into his dinged-up camp bowl.

  He preferred to eat out of that bowl rather than the ones they had carved out of wood. They each had parts of the past they clung to.

  Kris turned her attention to her husband as he squatted next to them, setting Mercy on one knee. He looked as preoccupied as she felt. As much as she wanted to ask, they had started to not talk about heavy subjects in front of the kids. Tucker understood too much now, and they did whatever they could to lower his stress level.

  Blake eyed Tucker, his eyebrows scrunched. “How are you feeling this morning, Champ?”

  “Tired, but I slept, so I guess the tea works.”

  “Well, let’s give it a few more days. If it doesn’t continue to help, we’ll try something else until we figure this out.” Blake patted his shoulder.

  “Thanks,” Tucker said before shoveling food into his mouth. “Ryan and I were going to try out that new bird trap today.”

  “In the west woods?” Kris asked him. Even after a year of him and Ryan hunting alone, it still unnerved her.

  “Yes,” he said, glancing up at her. “We won’t go past the creek.”

  “And no swimming unless an adult is with you,” Kris said sternly.

  “Mom, it’s barely running right now.”

  Kris narrowed her eyes.

  “Okay, fine. Maybe you or dad will come with us in the afternoon for a swim?”

  “Sounds like a plan,” Blake said, bouncing Mercy.

  “Me swim, too. I go underwater.”

  Kris smiled at her daughter. She had told Blake she wanted Mercy to learn how to swim right away. The almost drowning of Brent and Darius had haunted her. Even though the conditions had been much different than a summer dip, she couldn’t shake that fear.

  “It’ll be a family outing then.” Kris took Mercy from Blake so she could feed her.

  While she spooned acorn mush into Mercy’s mouth, she watched Blake absent-mindedly eat his own serving. She wondered what had him all up in his head. Was he thinking about his Dad? Or Butler? Or did he still worry about babies?

  It was difficult not being able to talk immediately. She promised herself she would as soon as the opportunity arose. If they didn’t communicate and share their burdens, they would collapse under their weight.

  ~3~

  Blake couldn’t shake that overbearing feeling of doom. He watched with uneasiness as the camp moved about the day. On a day that should be filled with happiness, he swore a gray cloud followed him. Could it be that he wondered too much about what the Governor would do? Or how? Or when? That was seventeen years away, not something that should preoccupy him now. Or did he worry about New Forest Glen not being prepared enough? Maybe it was stress from watching his son struggle with something he wouldn’t share?

  He rolled his shoulders, doing his best to relieve the bunched-up muscles.

  “You okay?” Kris asked as her hands fell onto his aching shoulders and neck. Her fingers dug into the tender muscles, and a groan escaped him.

  “Remember when you used to give me massages?” he asked.

  “I do. That’s how we ended up with the two precious miracles that prevent those massages from happening now.” She squeezed his shoulders and kissed his back before letting her hands slip off him.

  He missed the touch immediately. The feeling overwhelmed him enough that he spun around and pulled her against him. After a moment, she held him back.

  “What’s all this about?” she asked, pulling away enough to look into his eyes.

  Blake shrugged. How could he explain the feeling of loss when she stood right in front of him? Things had been going smoothly, almost too smoothly. Maybe that was why he felt unsettled. Every time life seemed easy, something happened...something that changed their lives forever.

  “Is it because Hannah’s wedding signals the start of a new generation?” Kris’s hand rubbed up and down his back.

  He wanted to swoop her up and take her back to their shelter and pretend this unnerving feeling didn’t exist. Mercy squealed nearby as Tucker chased her around, bringing him back to the moment. How he become so lucky, he didn’t know, but he would treasure every moment he had with his family.

  “They’re still young.” Kris slipped a hand out to caress his cheek. “We have lots of time before it’s their turn.”

  Blake turned his attention back to his wife. “It goes too fast. Our baby is already running around with her big brother.”

  “And shooting bows,” Kris said.

  Blake hadn’t thought Mercy would be able to wield the small bow he had made her under Frank’s guidance. The woodsmith had helped him pick the best wood from a yew tree and shape it to fit his daughter’s small size. The older man chuckled at the thought of a toddler shooting a bow.

  Thinking of his two-year-old shooting a bow wasn’t too big of a deal for him. Tucker had started with his toy bow about that age. There were no toys here, though, and now more than ever, it was their way of life.

  Tucker insisted that his sister have the bow for her birthday. Now, a month later, she could actually hit a target several feet away. She giggled with glee every time Tucker whooped with pride.

  “Maybe we should take a little trip after the wedding celebration calms down. We could scout for new berry fields or check out a few of the other cabins to see if they have anything useful.” Kris gave him one more squeeze before pulling away.

  “I would like that,” Blake said.

  Arland strode toward them. Blake didn’t know if he was more relieved for a distraction or upset for having to leave his wife.

  “I think Arland needs something.” Blake shifted his attention to his friend.

  “Hey brother,” Arland said, shoving his fingers through his hair. “Do you have some time? I could use help getting the last bit of Hannah and Tyler’s new shelter ready for tonight.” Arland’s face drained of color.

  Kris squeezed Blake’s hand and gave him a gentle push. “Go on. I’m going to take the kids to see if we can find some flowers for the bouquet.”

  “Be safe. Don’t go too far.” Blake watched her carefully before looking out toward the forest she would be escaping to.

  “Of course,” she said, standing on her tip-toes to plant a kiss on his lips, and then leaned in close to whisper. “Try to enjoy yourself. I think our friend needs support.”

  “I will. We always return to each other,” he said. They didn’t say it every time they left each other’s sides, but the words flew out and were heavy with emotion. What had gotten into him?

  “Dada!” Mercy came running and jumped into his arms.

  He swung her around and threw her up in the air. Her delighted giggles only increased the heaviness in his heart.

  “How is my little huntress?” He touched the tip of her nose.

  “Me go hunting? Little bunnies hiding.”

  “I’m sure they are, Sweet Girl. Daddy has to go help Uncle Arland, but you and Mommy see if you can find those bunnies.”